Friday July 31

Harassment in Schools

As I was reading the case study, Sequestering Sexual Harassment” it brought to mind an incident, actually multiple incidents that my daughters experienced. I don’t remember the exact details, because nothing was ever done. But I remember experiencing the same thoughts as the women mentioned in this case study.  

My teenaged daughter came to me and was just telling me about some mean kids at school and how they were name calling and just being dumb. She mentioned that they had said some inappropriate things but didn’t want to repeat exactly what was said. When I asked her to please tell me so that I would know how appropriate or inappropriate it was she made light of the situation and tried to just let it go. To me this was “trivializing a serious situation.” She claimed it wasn’t important and it really didn’t bother her. If it wasn’t that bothersome, then why tell mom? “Denotative hesitancy” is common place for victims. When it’s your word against theirs it’s easier to just avoid the truth perhaps.

Why are we so afraid to speak up and protect ourselves against those that would oppress us? Another incident where I did take action involved physical aggressiveness. One of my daughters had a rock thrown at her getting off the bus from the Jr. High school bus. There was an obvious welt on her head from the incident. Proof. I immediately confronted the girl and told her that if there were any further incidents that I would go to her mother. A few days later, retaliation for the threats. She pulled all of my rose pedals off and threw them in the yard.

I went to the mother and told her what happened with the flowers and she brought up my discussion with her daughter about the rock. Of course the story she had wasn’t the truth. She protected herself. My daughter and I told her what happened and she said that she did in fact cause the injury. Interesting that those who are the aggressors will say things to protect themselves with those who are in authority. Like the supervisors who abuse their position with those who are in lower level positions.  They will maintain their status by denying any wrongdoing.

In the end, because there was proof and eye witnesses to the situation the girl was reprimanded for injuring my daughter and my flowers, but how do we decrease the incidents or keep them from happening in the first place.